Merry Christmas!

I wanted to stop by today to wish all of you a Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays! I'm in Arizona spending Christmas with Brett and his family (my first Christmas away from my family) and then we're heading to Los Angeles for an engagement party. I hope you're having a wonderful time filled with family, friends, and yummy food!

The Nativity by Gerard van Honthorst

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas! Hope you're having a wonderful week. I wanted to say thank you so much, truly, for reading Cup of Jo. It means a lot to me that you take the time to come here. This week we're hanging out in Palm Springs and L.A., and I'm sure you're busy, too, so I figured I'd take a break from posting, but looking forward to coming back on January 2nd! Have a good one. xoxo

P.S. Toby's first Christmas, what a flashback.

(Photos from the Ace Palm Springs yesterday, where Toby officially fell in love with hotel pools)

Miracles

"It is a miracle if you can find true friends, and it is a miracle if you have enough food to eat, and it is a miracle if you get to spend your days and evenings doing whatever it is you like to do, and the holiday season—like all the other seasons—is a good time not only to tell stories of miracles, but to think about the miracles in your own life, and to be grateful for them." —Lemony Snicket, The Lump of Coal

(Photo by Amy Merrick)

Our five holiday traditions

After writing about our new holiday ritual for Toby, I was really inspired by everyone else's holiday traditions. So we decided to steal four...Read More >

Have a good weekend.

Where are you heading for the holidays? We're flying out this afternoon to Palm Springs and LA, where we'll be visiting Alex's family. And this year, my dad, brother and sister are also joining, so it will be a fun, noisy group! Please wish us luck on the flight (gulp), and have a wonderful weekend. Here are a few great links from around the web...

A song for your weekend.

For people who love words.

Two appetizers for the holidays: Crispy goat cheese and brussel sprouts crostini.

Beautiful state necklaces.

Now that's a brave woman!

What a cool treehouse wedding.

Is this banana slicer for real?

Origami for beginners.

Seven pretty outfits.

A dad's pancake upgrade.

Chris Rock's hilarious stand-up is actually right on.

The Polar Bear Club is insane.

In case you've forgotten: how to eat dinner & how to drink wine.

Pete Souza has taken thousands of powerful photos of Obama, but here are some sweet and funny ones: one, two, three, four, five.

A reader also emailed me this etiquette question: "For the past two years, my boss has handed me an envelope (with a generous gift card inside). Not sure what to do, I've waited until afterward to open it. Is this appropriate or sketchy? I felt so awkward last year!" Thoughts?

Little black dresses

This fall, I went to the ballet with my friend Jason and his girlfriend, who was wearing a little black dress with a sleek ponytail and red lipstick. She looked so incredibly chic that ever since then I've been on the hunt for the perfect little black dress. Here are the six pretty ones...
1. Bardot dress.
2. Lace dress.
3. Bow dress.
4. Beaded dress.
5. Pleated dress. (The leopard heels are a fantastic touch.)
6. Lace dress.

Which would you choose? I think I'd go for #1 or #5...

P.S. Hot pink would be fun, too:)

(Top photo of Tamu from All the Pretty Birds)

Who do you look like?

For his series I'm Not a Look-Alike, Canadian photographer François Brunelle took 200 photos of people who look like identical twins—but actually aren't even related. How crazy is that?!

Do you look like anyone? Throughout the years, people have said I look like Amanda Peet, Hilary Swank and (back in the day) figure skater Nancy Kerrigan. Alex has ranged from Seth Rogan to a young Warren Beatty. And Toby has gotten Agyness Deyn!

See more jaw-dropping "twin" photos below...Read More >

Your hometown

Are you heading home for the holidays? I grew up in the Michigan suburbs, and this Saturday Night Live tourism ad for "your hometown" made me laugh out loud. (It's worth waiting through the annoying NBC ad:)

(Via The Daily Muse)

10 ways to entertain a toddler on a plane

Will you be traveling with a little dude over the holidays? Last year, I wrote 10 tips for traveling with a baby, but now that Toby is an energetic toddler, he also needs to be entertained en route. Here are a few tips we've figured out...Read More >

The Best Bloody Mary You'll Ever Have

Bloody Marys are a famous hangover drink, so we figured we'd share a recipe before you head off to holiday parties and New Year shenanigans. There's something so debaucherous about showing up bleary eyed at brunch (or the breakfast table) and requesting a Bloody Mary. It hurts so good. (Fun fact: according to the original formula, the celery stick must be chewed after each sip.) Here, Nicole Franzen shares her perfect bracing recipe, along with a secret ingredient...Read More >

Do you sign emails xoxo?

For the past eight or so years, I've signed almost every email with an xoxo—to female and male friends, to strangers, to colleagues, to accountants, to lawyers, to people who are more or less my bosses. I can't even help myself anymore; it has become totally automatic.

"I’m always afraid that I’m being unprofessional, yet I continue to sign all my e-mails 'xoxo,' " Lena Dunham joked to the New York Times Magazine earlier this year.

A recent Atlantic article examined the phenomenon, which they say is feminizing the workplace: "'I feel like xo has taken on its own kind of life,' says Karli Kasonik, a Washington-based consultant. 'I do it, most women I know do it,' says Asie Mohtarez, a writer and social-media editor, noting that she prefers a single x to the full xo. 'In my field, you almost have to use it,' says Kristin Esposito, a yoga instructor in New York."

Funnily enough, xoxo-ing has become such a habit that I feel kind of mean when I don't include it. "There’s the matter of women’s tonal antennae, which pick up on even the smallest shifts," continues the Atlantic article. "'In e‑mail, ending a command with a period can feel brusque,' says Anne Trubek, a professor of rhetoric at Oberlin College...In Diane Sawyer’s newsroom, staffers say, the anchor uses xo so frequently that its omission can spark panic."

And it's not just for women. My deep-voiced, bearded husband has started picking it up, and my dad's classic sign-off is now a bold "xxOOO." (I think those are bear hugs.)

After all, xoxo doesn't actually mean "kiss" anymore (at least, I'm not planning to kiss my accountant, sweet as he is). It's similar to "how the epistolary greeting Dear changed over time, originally just for addressing loved ones but eventually becoming neutral," says Ben Zimmer, a linguist and lexicologist, in the article.

So, is xoxo unprofessional or a new industry standard? "I refuse to feel any shame for this widespread woman-trait,” Caitlin Moran, the British feminist and author of How to Be a Woman, told the Atlantic. “Statistics show we’re slowly taking over the world, and I’m happy for us to do it one xxx e‑mail at a time.”

What do you think? I'd love to hear... xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
(Thanks, Courtney)

Cocktails in a bottle

Here's a rad last-minute gift idea for cocktail lovers: Pourable Manhattans. A Utah-based distillery mixes rye whiskey, vermouth and bitters, then ages the mixture for 90 days, to make a fantastic Manhattan cocktail, which you just pour right out of the bottle. How cool is that?

P.S. Another boozy gift: The Corksicle now comes in bright colors. Your mom won't have to put ice in her white wine anymore!
(Via Momfilter. Comic by Gemma Correll)

A moment of silence

Honestly, I don't know how to write about the Newtown tragedy. The devastating news coverage is extensive, and I have nothing enlightening to add to the conversation. But my thoughts have been consumed by those sweet children, teachers and families, as I'm sure yours have been.

Each night this weekend, as I put Toby to bed, he felt very real and tactile to me, almost like I couldn't believe he was actually there. As I stroked his warm forehead and soft wispy hair, I felt anxious and lucky at the same time; those quiet moments were a gift.

Here are a few ways to help support the families of Newtown, and you can also write a letter of love and support to the school and parents.

Sandy Hook Elementary School
12 Dickenson Drive
Newtown, CT 06482

Today let's have a moment of silence. I'll be turning off the comments on this post, and sending love to everyone. xoxo

(Photos from the Associated Press)

Monday Motivation

Source: backonpointe.tumblr.com via Shannon on Pinterest

Have a great weekend.

What are your plans for the weekend? I'm going on a girl's night out tomorrow (whoot whoot!). They're pretty rare for me, so I'm really looking forward to it. We're also psyched about the new math museum opening in Manhattan; it looks incredible. Hope you have a wonderful weekend, and here are a few fun links from around the web...

A song for your weekend.

What a gorgeous wedding dress.

A gingerbread house? Nope, a gingerbread brownstone.

Smoking cocktail.

Would you wear a union suit?

Just a baby on the table. No biggie.

This tote made me laugh.

First snow in Berlin.

What a rad idea for a gift.

My friend wrote a book!

Who wants to stay in an igloo?

15 incredible photos of Hollywood heroines.

A guy's dream shop.

And the full Cup of Jo gift guide, if you need any final ideas.

Update: I just heard the news about the Connecticut school. Our hearts go out to the families and children affected. What heartbreak. xoxo

(Photos of skateboarding in NYC in the 1960s, via A Conversation on Cool, via Shoko)

Occupy Christmas

Earlier this week, my friend K re-posted this Occupy Christmas list from Rage Against the Minivan and I wanted to share it with you all!

I'm a big believer in having a simple Christmas. I'm of the less is more camp when it comes to decorations and, more importantly, I believe in giving big and buying small. For me, that means making handmade gifts instead of buying things, donating to charities, and focusing on spending time together with loved ones instead of shopping for them.

I spent most of my childhood having simple - and wonderful! - Christmases. After my parents got divorced, my mom went through this purging period where she donated most of our Christmas decorations. I'm pretty sure she gave our entire Christmas village and Christmas train to our landscaper one day. After that, our house always felt festive with just my great-grandmother's creche, a pretty tree strung with white lights, homemade garland and whatever "brilliant" decorating ideas my sister and I had, and some natural garland with big red bows on the staircase, mantel and front door. We made homemade Christmas ornaments as our Christmas presents for all of my grandparents, aunts, and uncles every year. We always did some kind of donation or project for a nonprofit. And we were limited to three Christmas presents from Santa. I was always confused when I saw movies and the kids had these long, rambling lists. But my mom told me Jesus got three presents, so that is what we got. :-)

Looking back, I'm so grateful that our Christmas was focused on volunteering and charity and that Christmas was mostly about the excitement of going to visit our huge family in Miami. I remember opening Christmas presents on Christmas morning, but truth be told, I can't tell you what a single one of those presents were. What I do remember is my grandparents waiting for me to get off the plane, waking up to a house full of aunts and uncles who had brought donuts, singing Christmas carols, and helping bake lots of cookies, cakes, and other yummy foods in a packed kitchen. These are the memories that have stood the test of time - and they have nothing to do with gifts.

As I've grown up, and as Brett and I think about what we want our Christmases to look like, it can be hard to resist the idea that you need to have a ton of huge presents underneath a decorated-to-the-max-with-ornaments-from-Pottery-Barn tree. That is what society tells us a "merry" Christmas looks like (and that is advertised every .5 seconds). But this Christmas, amidst all of the commercialized mess, I feel like more and more people are embracing a simple Christmas. It seems like there are more people who are trying to give creatively and not just give the biggest present. There seems to be more of an emphasis on giving back and helping those who are less fortunate. And there seems to be a focus on spending time instead of money.

So here is to a simple and peaceful Christmas this year! To a Christmas that has everything to do with love, family and special traditions, and very little to do with wish lists! 

P.S. If you are still looking for some gift ideas (I know I am!), be sure to check out Rage Against the Minivan's fantastic post or K's gift guides.

Self portraits

Do you ever take vacation or party photos with one arm awkwardly extended? Well, a Cape Town ad agency tweaked iconic photos (in Photoshop) to make them look like self-portraits. Made me laugh.

(Photo montages by Lowe Cape Town, via It's Nice That)

A little love note

So I've been sick as a dog this week—and am finally feeling better today, thank goodness. Alex was so sweet to come home early, put Toby to sleep, bring me Gatorade, make me a bland dinner (toast with said Gatorade) and lie in bed and read to me. The last time I was this sick (almost five years ago), he read me "The Diamond as Big as the Ritz" by F. Scott Fitzgerald, which was creepy and wonderful, but this year I couldn't find any short stories so he read from Bird by Bird. Thank you, Alex; I love you.

(The experience also taught me that it's really nice to read stories in bed. Do you have any favorite books of short stories? I'd LOVE to hear...)

P.S. Toby's reaction.

(Photo of our bedroom by Oh Darling Photography)

Travel fantasy: Shelter Co.

Do you like camping? I've never been a huge camper, but Shelter Co. looks pretty amazing. It's a pop-up lodging service, born out of a nostalgia for the days of summer camp. They set up fully furnished European-style canvas tents, complete with Pendleton blankets, a carpeted floor and bedside tables, and you just show up to stargaze, roast marshmallows and play games. It's like camping for wusses! Just my style!

Thoughts? Do you like camping or not so much?

P.S. More travel fantasies...

The Best Sticky Buns You'll Ever Have

This is not a light day on Cup of Jo:) For those winter mornings when you have guests or are just cozying up with a good book, decadent sticky buns are the perfect treat. Audra of The Baker Chick shares her favorite recipe...Read More >

The Best Chocolate Chip Cookies You'll Ever Have

Do you ever give a box of cookies as a holiday gift? They're inexpensive, and everyone loves them. We're giving cookies to a few of our friends and neighbors, so I set out to find the two best recipes...Read More >

Tuesday giveaway!

Today's giveaway from ONA is amazing! These days, people carry their cameras everywhere—to playgrounds, on vacations, to candlelit restaurants. "I loathed carrying a camera bag that was clunky and distracting," says Tracy, the founder. "To avoid looking like a tourist, I even tried stuffing my camera into a regular bag...and my camera ended up with the nicks and scratches to prove it." So, she created camera bags that are both gorgeous and functional.

Today, one lucky reader will get to choose between the Chelsea bag ($369) and the Palma bag ($319). For a chance to win, please visit ONA's online shop, and leave a comment below telling us your favorite. Good luck! Update: Mary S. is our winner and has been emailed. Thanks for playing.

Swing art installation

I'm a huge fan of interactive art exhibits (like the Grand Central secret and the New Museum playground), so my jaw dropped when I heard about the current Ann Hamilton show in Manhattan. Her installation features 42 swings, which, in turn, move an enormous billowy curtain. "When the swings are in action, the curtain, made of a lightweight silk twill, rises and dips, and the air is stirred, causing further billowing and fluttering," writes the New York Times, "Pigeons and an actress provide a soundtrack." Some people glide on the swings, some lie on the ground under the curtain and some sit on benches to take it all in. The show runs through January 6th at the Armory. I can't wait to take Toby!

(Photos by Philip Greenberg for the New York Times)

How to choose a vintage engagement ring

Jared from Erstwhile Jewelry is a fifth generation jeweler. His family opened their first jewelry shop in Russia in the 1800s, so "I've been surrounded by the business since I was little," he says. Here, he reveals seven tips for choosing an antique engagement ring...Read More >