Occupy Christmas

Earlier this week, my friend K re-posted this Occupy Christmas list from Rage Against the Minivan and I wanted to share it with you all!

I'm a big believer in having a simple Christmas. I'm of the less is more camp when it comes to decorations and, more importantly, I believe in giving big and buying small. For me, that means making handmade gifts instead of buying things, donating to charities, and focusing on spending time together with loved ones instead of shopping for them.

I spent most of my childhood having simple - and wonderful! - Christmases. After my parents got divorced, my mom went through this purging period where she donated most of our Christmas decorations. I'm pretty sure she gave our entire Christmas village and Christmas train to our landscaper one day. After that, our house always felt festive with just my great-grandmother's creche, a pretty tree strung with white lights, homemade garland and whatever "brilliant" decorating ideas my sister and I had, and some natural garland with big red bows on the staircase, mantel and front door. We made homemade Christmas ornaments as our Christmas presents for all of my grandparents, aunts, and uncles every year. We always did some kind of donation or project for a nonprofit. And we were limited to three Christmas presents from Santa. I was always confused when I saw movies and the kids had these long, rambling lists. But my mom told me Jesus got three presents, so that is what we got. :-)

Looking back, I'm so grateful that our Christmas was focused on volunteering and charity and that Christmas was mostly about the excitement of going to visit our huge family in Miami. I remember opening Christmas presents on Christmas morning, but truth be told, I can't tell you what a single one of those presents were. What I do remember is my grandparents waiting for me to get off the plane, waking up to a house full of aunts and uncles who had brought donuts, singing Christmas carols, and helping bake lots of cookies, cakes, and other yummy foods in a packed kitchen. These are the memories that have stood the test of time - and they have nothing to do with gifts.

As I've grown up, and as Brett and I think about what we want our Christmases to look like, it can be hard to resist the idea that you need to have a ton of huge presents underneath a decorated-to-the-max-with-ornaments-from-Pottery-Barn tree. That is what society tells us a "merry" Christmas looks like (and that is advertised every .5 seconds). But this Christmas, amidst all of the commercialized mess, I feel like more and more people are embracing a simple Christmas. It seems like there are more people who are trying to give creatively and not just give the biggest present. There seems to be more of an emphasis on giving back and helping those who are less fortunate. And there seems to be a focus on spending time instead of money.

So here is to a simple and peaceful Christmas this year! To a Christmas that has everything to do with love, family and special traditions, and very little to do with wish lists! 

P.S. If you are still looking for some gift ideas (I know I am!), be sure to check out Rage Against the Minivan's fantastic post or K's gift guides.

Women Are Ruining Marriage

I know you all have probably already seen Suzanne Venker's article on Fox News, in which she bemoans the fact that there are no marriageable men and then asks, "What if the dearth of good men, and ongoing battle of the sexes, is women's fault?" But, UGH. Things like this article make me want to scream. And throw up.

Who are these men who are refusing to get married because "women aren't women anymore"? They sound like misogynistic jerks. And I don't know why anyone, especially any woman, would think that these men become more "marriageable" if women only stopped going to school and pursuing careers.

Thankfully, we have Suzanne Venker to try and convince us that we should think that way because, well, because of SCIENCE. You see, according to Venker:

"The so-called rise of women has not threatened men. It has pissed them off. It has also undermined their ability to be self-sufficient in the hopes of someday supporting a family. Men want to love women, not compete with them. They want to provide for and protect their families - it's in their DNA. But modern women won't let them." 

So, women, we are undermining men's ability to do things in life because we are also doing things with our lives. This makes the men  - and apparently their DNA - sad. And yet, even though the men are apparently the ones who are sad and we're the ones running around pursuing silly things like an education and career, we lose. Because the men we would be marrying are such entitled jerks that they would rather be a "slacker" than compete with women.

We are really missing out on all these would-be-great-if-it-wasn't-for-stupid-feminism men!

Destroying these patriarchal men and their dreams of a patriarchal marriage is a serious accusation. One that, if true, does demand some reflection. I encourage all women to do what Venker says and "look in the mirror and ask what role [you've] played in bringing about this transformation."

Then give your educated, employed, feminist-self a little pat on the back.

The Oil Cleansing Method

The other week, while reading the blog No More Dirty Looks, I stumbled across commenters who claimed they washed their face with oil. At first, I was horrified. Then, I was intrigued. A quick Google search informed me that the oil cleansing method is supposed to dissolve dirty oil, makeup, and grime from your face without stripping it of its natural oils. It is also natural and fragrance free, so it is supposed to be less irritating.

Curious, I snuck into my bathroom with my bottle of extra virgin olive oil. I felt like I was doing something rebellious or naughty. Like I was breaking all sorts of rules. I poured the olive oil into my hands and began rubbing it onto my face. My skin felt soothed and moisturized. I rinsed a washcloth in hot water and let it sit on my face for 10-15 seconds, then wiped the oil off. It was luxurious!

The next morning, I was afraid I'd wake up and my skin would be a broken out mess. But it looked great! It was dewy. It wasn't as red as it normally was. It didn't feel tight, and I was able to skip my morning moisturizer.

I've been doing the oil cleansing method for about two weeks now, and I don't know if I will ever go back. I am so in love with it! Not only does it make my skin look better, it is all-natural! I always have olive oil around the house, so it cuts back on the amount of different products I have to buy (especially if I'm able to forgo moisturizer with it). And because I'm able to pour the olive oil straight from the bottle into a recycled glass container from another face mask, it will also cut back on the amount of packaging I use and, inevitably, throw away. I'm guessing it is also much cheaper in the long run.

Source: BBC Food

If you feel like trying it --- and you should! -- here is everything you need to know:

How It Works: 

The reasons we have so much trouble with mainstream skin care products are numerous, but two reasons, in particular, lead the pack. These products strip the oil out of our skin, leaving our largest organ trying to repair itself by replacing the oil stripped away. This leaves us in a cycle of being tight and dry followed by the inevitable oil slick. Each time we strip the oil away, our skin over-compensates for the lack of moisture by creating more oil. On top of the drying effects, these products are highly-scented. Fragrance is one of the top skin irritants and strangely enough, even the so-called "unscented" products usually contain fragrance. See for yourself and check the labels. Dry, irritated skin replaced by oily skin, inflamed and trapping debris?

Getting right down to basics, when cleansing and moisturizing your skin, it is imperative that you keep in mind that oil dissolves oil. Your skin naturally lubricates itself with oil, and as we are creatures of adaptation, one can believe that if this weren't the appropriate built-in care for ourselves, our bodies would have adapted to suit the need. (Source: The Oil Cleansing Method).

What To Do:

1. Find your moisturizing oil. Olive oil, jojoba, and almond oil are the best. Skip the coconut oil for this one, it can clog pores.

2. If you have oily skin, mix the moisturizing oil with castor oil. Castor oil is supposed to draw out the impurities from your skin. If you have acne prone skin, mix three parts castor oil with one part olive oil. If you have dry skin, mix one part castor oil with three parts olive oil. To be honest, I haven't bothered to go and buy any castor oil because I'm lazy and have been quite pleased with using just olive oil. But many people swear by incorporating castor oil. 

3. Massage the oil into your (dry) skin. Enjoy how relaxing it feels!

4. Rinse a clean washcloth with warm water. Put the washcloth on your face and let it "steam" your face for 10 seconds. Then rinse it with more warm water and gently wipe away the oil. 

5. Show off your dewy, moisturized, soothed, and cleansed face! 

Some Advice:

If you're going to try the oil cleansing method, I would really try it. Go all out! Part of what the oil cleansing method does is balance your skin. If you alternate with another harsher face wash, it might not work or lead to break outs.

Similarly, I would skip the moisturizer. Unless your skin is really dry and flaky, go a few days and see if your skin adjusts to the oil cleansing method.

The Feminist Mystique: On Finding Feminism in Beauty, Fashion, and the Everyday

I have a secret to share with you!

I like to read blogs about beauty, decorating, and fashion.

Gasp! Am I the only one who finds this hard to admit? I actually had a total crisis in college and thought I couldn't be a Women's Studies major because I enjoyed reading the US Weekly's my mom would bring me way too much. Then a professor mentioned reading US Weekly, and a feminist writer came in and talked to us about her analysis of The Bachelorette, and I felt redeemed (and then I found Jezebel and felt like I had entered some sort of snarky, feminist, pop-culture savvy heaven).

Being a feminist can be emotionally draining and difficult - we're aware of the sexism that surrounds us and spend a good portion of our time working on or reading about issues such as gender-based violence, sex trafficking, poverty, and attacks on reproductive rights. It is difficult stuff!  And even though it can be very rewarding, sometimes I find that it takes its toll; that I feel overwhelmed by the sexism, violence, and inequality around me.

So sometimes I check out and look at pretty pictures of dresses, or decorating ideas, or hair tutorials (I'm fast becoming a pinterest addict). It is a fun  little escape and offers a respite from the serious things in life. Indeed, sometimes I feel like I need these little escapes to remind myself that life can be fun and beautiful, even while we're working on the hard stuff - like destroying patriarchy.

One of the things you hear about doing feminist work is that it isn't sustainable. People usually mean this in two ways; that it isn't sustainable because it doesn't pay very well, and/or that it isn't sustainable because being a feminist is emotionally exhausting (this is a variant of the classic: you'll only be liberal while you're young. In the words of a friend, "don't you ever get sick of analyzing every article, every tv ad, every show, every tradition for sexism!"). The latter has already been addressed, and the former...well, it is true that feminist work, like most non-profit and advocacy work, doesn't pay very well. And that is a very real social and economic problem. It is unfortunate that so many professions, such as teaching and non-profit work, mean a trade-off in quality of life, or even that one can only do it for a few years because it is impossible to exist on such a salary.

I, however, am trying very hard to make it sustainable. I think the work is necessary, and I'd rather change my lifestyle and become less capitalistic - I'd rather learn to live simply on less- than give up the work.

My perusal of pretty dresses, decorating ideas, and beauty tips are all being shaped by these goal, by a desire to remind myself of the fun and the beautiful, and by a desire to live a more simple, natural, and chemical-free life (the many reasons for this last one will have to wait for a separate post). I've been thinking a lot about how much I buy and consume, and how much I have that I could give to others who need it more. I've been thinking about my impact on my fellow humanity and our planet. I've been thinking about how everything -- from the food you eat, to the shampoo you use, to the way you decorate -- can be political. After all, the personal is political! That is feminism 101.

This is actually one of the reasons why I started this blog, and why I named it the Feminist Mystique. I started writing a few months after I had graduated with a Master's and was suddenly thrown into the real world. A world where I couldn't just spend all day reading feminist theory, but had to live my feminism. And yet, I wasn't sure what feminism meant to me and how I could bring those values into the everyday. I'm still not sure.

So, while this is hardly a lifestyle blog, I'm going to start blogging a little about my desire to live more simply; to live as a feminist in every sense of the word. I'm going to share with you some things I do that make me happy and give me a fun break from the hard stuff, while also (hopefully) helping me to live a better, more simple life. And I'll share some fun, all-natural, not budget-breaking beauty, fashion, decorating, and cooking things as well.

I hope you find these posts helpful and fun!