Motherhood Mondays: How do you prepare your older child for a new baby?

My one big worry these days is...
Read More >

34th birthday

Yesterday was my 34th birthday, and, I have to say, it was one of my favorites. We just celebrated in a low-key family way, and it was so nice. First, on Wednesday night, Alex took me to see the The Book of Mormon. Our friend (who actually happens to be Mormon) helped us get discounted house seats through her friend who works for the play. When we showed up, we realized we were sitting fifth row center! We were so close, we could see the sweat on the actors' faces; it was crazy.
Look how beautiful the boxes were on the sides of the theater...
The play was absolutely hilarious, and the acting was fantastic. Jon Stewart said the play was "so f**king good it makes me angry," which seemed about right. We had smiles plastered on our faces the whole time.
The next morning, my brother and his French girlfriend Audrey came over for breakfast. She recommended Bien Cuit, a new bakery in our neighborhood...
...so we headed over there for delicious pain au chocolat and carrot bread. (Toby preferred the former:)
That evening, Alex and I went to Junoon, a fancy Indian restaurant in the Flatiron district.
The food was exploding with flavor. We had crispy cauliflower, fried paneer cheese and duck meatballs just to start, and then shared lentil-encrusted mahi mahi and lamb shank braised for five hours.
During dinner, Alex surprised me with a handmade Mason Pearson brush. I've wanted one ever since Caroline explained that the boar bristles evenly distribute your hair's natural oils to make it extra shiny. Plus, every woman in my family had one growing up—my mom, my aunts, my grandmother—so in a funny way, it feels like I've finally grown up. :)

Faux fur throws

This past weekend, we were lucky enough to visit our friends' cabin in Connecticut. Alex and I are usually huge wusses about winter, but, inspired by our friends, we decided to embrace it. We built roaring fires, ate French toast and bacon for breakfast, chopped wood, went cross-country skiing, threw the toddlers in the bath together, and later comforted crying kids on hikes because their hands were too cold and rushed them back to the warm car—all in all, a real country weekend:)

But the biggest surprise of the trip? Our friends' sofas were draped in these faux fur throws from Restoration Hardware, and they were soft and luxurious. We spent the weekend cuddled in them, and when we returned home on Sunday night, we immediately ordered one. I'd highly recommend them!
P.S. Love Alex's face while chopping wood!

(Photos by our friends, who are actually the designers behind Pinhole Press. Thanks, Ashley and Stefan!)

Motherhood Mondays: Potty training

Last week, we tackled potty training. Toby was a champ, but it was intense. Here's my diary, if you're interested (and I'd LOVE to hear your experiences)...

Saturday:
We went cold turkey. No more diapers. He was happy to sit on the potty, but wouldn't actually pee in it. Tons of accidents. In the evening, he peed on my lap and dissolved into hysterical laughter.

Sunday:
Stayed home naked. Hilariously classic reversion, poor thing. Kept saying, “I’m a baby! I’m sleepy! Waah waah!” Cried when we asked him to sit on potty. We were wondering if this would work out.

Monday:
Miracle! Woke up and was happy to pee! He would announce, “I pee on potty,” then walk over, sit down, pee, get up and resume playing. Alex and I gave each other a secret high five! A couple accidents, but overall a great day.

Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday:
Ups and downs. Some accidents, some resistance, some successes. We had him wear pants but no underwear, so he'd realize he wasn't in a diaper. Told me earnestly that he missed his diapers, which was kind of heartbreaking.

Friday:
Now, finally, he's reliably peeing when prompted. Instead of expecting him to initiate, we decided to have "potty time" every 90 minutes or so. We treat it like a normal part of his daily routine, just like lunchtime or nap time. Seems to be working so far!

Two tips from this website that surprised me: Instead of saying "pull down your pants," it's easier for your toddler to understand if you say "push down your pants." And if your child has an accident, don't say "It's okay," since that sounds as if you're granting permission; instead, just calmly say, "Oops! Remember, pee goes in the potty, not on the sofa."

How has it gone for you? Any funny/crazy/embarrassing moments? I'd love to hear. (One reader said she motivated her daughter with Lindt chocolate truffles!)
Toby wears Honest training pants for naps and bedtime, and we're going to have him start wearing Thomas the Tank Engine underwear—instead of going commando—for the rest of the day. (I've heard that swim diapers also work well for those first few tricky weeks, since they feel like underwear but are absorbant.)

P.S. Those little legs!!!

Of course, we're thrilled that it's working...
...but I'll secretly miss these anchor diapers:)

(This post is sponsored by The Honest Company, whose mission I adore, and whose diapers, training pants, wipes, lotion, shampoo, soap and many other awesome products we use for our family. In honor of all things baby, they're offering free shipping with the code JoFreeShip3, until February 11th)

Potty training advice?

Help! This weekend, we're attempting to potty train.

We were originally planning start potty training right before the holidays, but decided to wait until our trip was over. (We figured diapers would be best on car trips and airplanes.)

But, now, we're ready. A reader recommended this website, which instructs us to spend a weekend at home with Toby totally naked. Sounds strange, but the site says it helps your child realize that they're not wearing a diaper and instead should use the potty. Is that what you guys did? Did it work? I'd be incredibly grateful for any tips and advice.

Most of all: Go, Toby! What a little hero!

(Photo of Toby from the holidays)

Motherhood Mondays: When pregnant, would you find out the sex of your baby, or keep it a surprise?

After much debate, I think we're going to...Read More >

Vacation photos: LA and Palm Springs

For the holidays, we went visited friends and family in Los Angeles and Palm Springs. We were psyched and lucky to be there for a full ten days, since next year—with the new baby—we'll probably be more homebound. Here are a few photos, if you'd like to see...
Read More >

Very happy nine-month news...

After holding my tongue for months, I'm really excited to announce that Alex and I are expecting our second child! We are completely over the moon. I'm three months along, so the baby should arrive around July 3rd. Toby has requested that we have a "glurl" and name her "Thomas," after this friendly guy.

Pregnancy and new motherhood felt both wonderful and disorienting the first time around, so I'm curious how different it will feel the second time. Funnily enough, this pregnancy already feels much more real. With Toby, my pregnancy felt surreal and was hard to wrap my head around, but now we know more about what to expect. My friend Sari and I were talking about the experience of expecting a second child, and she said, "Because I knew what it felt like to love Jude, I was able to tap into this deep, true kind of love for Teddy from the very instant I knew I was pregnant with her." I loved that.

How mindblowing to think we're going to experience a newborn again along with all those sweet steps: growing a belly, finding out the gender, giving birth, choosing a name, cuddling a newborn, breastfeeding, doing tummy time, acting a little crazy, waking up early, swapping drool-y kisses, trying to figure out a good work-life balance, standing up, taking first steps, saying first words....

I can't wait. :)

(Photo kindly taken by our friend Shannen Norman. Thank you again, Shannen!)

Merry Christmas

Merry Christmas! Hope you're having a wonderful week. I wanted to say thank you so much, truly, for reading Cup of Jo. It means a lot to me that you take the time to come here. This week we're hanging out in Palm Springs and L.A., and I'm sure you're busy, too, so I figured I'd take a break from posting, but looking forward to coming back on January 2nd! Have a good one. xoxo

P.S. Toby's first Christmas, what a flashback.

(Photos from the Ace Palm Springs yesterday, where Toby officially fell in love with hotel pools)

10 ways to entertain a toddler on a plane

Will you be traveling with a little dude over the holidays? Last year, I wrote 10 tips for traveling with a baby, but now that Toby is an energetic toddler, he also needs to be entertained en route. Here are a few tips we've figured out...Read More >

Motherhood Mondays: What family traditions do you have during the holidays?

What are your family traditions around the holidays? When we were growing up, my parents would light angel chimes at the dinner table, and the heat from the candles would make the angels spin around and ring the bells. That little "ding, ding, ding" sound still makes me feel so warm and cozy...

Toby is two-and-a-half years old, so this is the first holiday that he'll really understand. I've been thinking so much recently about the value of rituals, and I'd love to create some for our family. So angel chimes are the very first holiday tradition we're starting with him.

Does your family light angel chimes? (Apparently, angel chimes are actually Swedish, but they were introduced to America about fifty years ago.) What other holiday family traditions do you have? A big Christmas Eve dinner? Homemade stockings? Super spiked egg nog? I'd love to hear—and get ideas!

(Many thanks to our friend Alpha Smoot for taking photos)

Brought to you by Cardstore. Visit Cardstore.com now and show off your seasonal savvy. Thanks for supporting the sponsors that keep Cup of Jo running.

Toby, 2.5 years old

Toby is now two and a half (how time flies!), and it's awesome to watch him develop his own little personality. I figured I'd share a few photos, if you'll indulge me:) Above, he's riding on Alex's shoulders to brunch...
Strolling around the neighborhood with a Happy Birthday balloon (note: it was not his birthday).
Cuddling with his girlfriend. No big deal.
In toddler heaven at the Brooklyn Transit Museum.
Painting during an art class.
Feeling sheep at the Central Park Zoo.
Drinking shirtless while watching TV like a dude.
Zonked!

Toby, I love being your mama.

In other news, we're starting potty training this week! Wish us luck:)

Motherhood Monday: Do your eyes light up when you see your child?

Whenever I see or call my mom, she always acts ecstatic. Even though I'm usually regaling her with something super boring ("I’m ordering Mexican for dinner tonight,” "I’m kind of sleepy today,” “Did you see that it snowed?”), she’s always thrilled to hear every detail. And although I’m 33 years old, it feels reassuring to have someone who is so reliably happy that I exist.

Learning from my mother, now that I have a child of my own, I try to never hide how happy I am to see Toby. Even when I'm buried in emails or writing a post, I always look up with a huge grin and eyes twinkling when Toby walks in the door. Even when I'm sick, busy, tired or stressed, I want him to always know, 100%, that I'm glad he's there.

Author Toni Morrison shared a similar sentiment on Oprah years ago: "When my children used to walk in the room...I looked at them to see if they had buckled their trousers or if their hair was combed or if their socks were up. You think your affection and your deep love is on display because you're caring for them. It's not. When they see you, they see the critical face." Does your face light up when your child comes into the room? she asked. Because they notice.

Toby, for one, has definitely noticed. He'll sometimes even come through the door and announce, "Ta da!!!" It makes my heart sing that he believes he's worthy of such fanfare.

What about you? Have you ever thought about this? Maybe every mother does! It's one of those little things that feels really important.

P.S. The first time my eyes lit up.

(I wrote a shortened version of this post for SFGirlbyBay; thanks, Victoria)