Mother's Day: 4 gifts for new moms

Last week, I featured a Mother's Day gift guide with gift ideas for our own mothers. But I've gotten emails from husbands asking for gift ideas for their wives, since they want to honor the mothers of their own children. How sweet is that sentiment? So, here are four Mother's Day ideas for new mothers...
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About a Little Mole Who Wants to Know Who It Was that Pooped on its Head. (Seriously.)

The funniest thing we discovered in Amsterdam was definitely this classic children's book. The title? "About a Little Mole Who Wants to Know Who It Was that Pooped on its Head." Look inside...Read More >

Motherhood Mondays: Biking in Amsterdam

I'd love to share our Amsterdam photos later this week, but in the meantime, want to see some crazy photos of bikes in Amsterdam? Here goes...
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Monday Motivation

                                                                                         Source: lesapea.tumblr.com via Shannon on Pinterest

Weekend Links

It has been really fun to read all the thoughtful responses for The Last Name Project. To take a look at all of them (including the ones posted on Danielle's blog) go here.

As part of Balancing Jane's series on identities in balance, Jennifer writes a touching piece about lipsticks and daughters. (P.S. Read my post for the series, about being Catholic and feminist, here).

Balancing Jane and Sociological Images cover Kraft's new, highly offensive ad campaign about mixed race milk bites. Read their analyses, sign the Change.org petition, and boycott Kraft until they revoke the ads.

This weekend, Code Pink, the Center for Constitutional Rights, and Reprieve hosted the International Drone Summit in Washington, DC. Read about it here and here. Or follow along on twitter by searching for #DroneSummit.

A Catholic school fired a woman for undergoing in vitro fertilization. Even when they're trying to get pregnant, women just can't win!

The Vatican is upset that Catholic nuns are awesome and actually spend time helping the poor and oppressed instead of talking about how sinful gay people are and trying to control the uterus of every woman on the planet.

If you're like me and one of the rare few that hasn't read The Hunger Games yet, Feministe is starting a Hunger Games book club. Read along with me! And may the odds (of finding time to read yet another book trilogy) be ever in your favor.

Lately, I've spent too much time on Pinterest daydreaming about how to decorate my new apartment in Atlanta. Here are some tips on how to avoid getting overwhelmed or feel bad about yourself because realistically you are not going to be able to sew your own throw pillows.

My friend K over at The Gracious Gaze did a fun series about spring cleaning your way to a simple closet.  She did this with me in person last year, and has some great tips!

BREAKING NEWS: Science proves Wellesley friends are the best kinds of friends. Exhibit A: my friend M drove down from Boston just to eat falafel with me because on Friday I told her I missed her.

xoxoxoxo

[A] The Last Name Project

In this new series co-hosted by from two to one and The Feminist Mystique, we will be profiling an array of individuals and couples about their last name decisions upon marriage or what they expect to choose if they marry. The goal is to explore how individuals make decisions about their last name, and to highlight the many possibilities. We will be posting profiles periodically and encourage you to stay connected via Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.  If you would like to participate in this series, email Danielle at danielle [at] fromtwotoone [dot] com or Shannon at hill [dot] shannonp [at] gmail [dot] com. 

The following post is from A, who lives in the USA.

I married at the end of 2008, but didn’t get around to changing my surname until the following February. I did a lot of waffling about my last name, but in the end I felt confident with my choice to change it. My husband didn’t participate in my decision—he just let me make my choice. (Although he now thinks that it would have been cool to pick a new name for ourselves if we had thought about it at the time!) I was also very lucky that my career had no bearing on my choice; I was just starting out and there was never any pressure about what to call myself after I was married.

My primary reason for wanting to change my last name upon marriage stems from my family situation:  my father is a misogynist and has been since I can remember. All he ever wanted was a son; instead he got 4 daughters. As a kid I had heard him bemoan his status as “the last Doe*” because he was an only son who had no sons of his own; it was like we girls weren’t “Doe*” enough to continue the legacy or the name because we weren’t boys, no matter how smart or wonderful or successful we were in our own rights. Although I toyed with the idea of hyphenation (ditching my “tag” of 23 years wasn’t entirely painless, regardless of my strong motivations for wanting to change it), I ultimately changed my last name completely because I wanted to be free of that patriarchal connection to my father—a connection to which I never consented in the first place, since his name had been assigned to me at birth. I didn’t want to share a last name with a bitter man who frankly doesn’t deserve his wonderful daughters. I don’t think that I would have come to my conclusion if I had not discovered feminism and my passion for women’s equality; my feminism helped me to confront the ugly truth about my father’s character and I was able to make a decision that was right for me. I chose to take the last name of my husband’s family in the end; they had never shown me anything but kindness and acceptance and love and legally taking the last name of people I had come to love in return felt…right.

*Name changed for the sake of anonymity

Have a relaxing weekend.

My darlings, what are you up to this weekend? Alex and I just got back from Amsterdam, where we had an amazing time (I'm excited to share photos next week), although now that we're back, we've been smooching on Toby non-stop this morning. We missed him so much! Hope you have a wonderful weekend, and here are a few fun posts, if you find yourself in a blog-reading mood...xoxo

Our friends in Austin took family portraits. Adorable!

Fascinating piece about marriage and sex.

Such a gorgeous haircut.

Alternative to flip flops.

Lion tattoo. Rawr!

Great round mirror.

Fourteen City Hall weddings.

This white cotton dress would be perfect for City Hall.

Make a taco box for new parents!

And these taco holders are a great idea.

Painted glass tumblers.

What an awesome neon clutch.

Have you seen this baby elephant on a beach?

Surprising safety tip: Don't go down slides with toddlers in your lap.

Domino Magazine's special issue is on newsstands now. Excited to nab one today! xo
(Top photo of the Green Tunnel, Castle Garden, United Kingdom)

Friday giveaway!

Today's giveaway is from Paper & Chain, a beautiful jewelry line designed by two British friends. I'm completely over the moon about their geometric designs, especially the leather bracelets and triangle studs. Today they're letting one lucky winner choose her favorite piece. Which would you choose?

For a chance to win, please visit Paper & Chain and leave a comment below with your favorite piece. A winner will be selected on Monday, so you have three days! Good luck! xoxo Update: Amanda W. is our lucky winner. Thanks for playing.

[Bethany] The Last Name Project

In this new series co-hosted by from two to one and The Feminist Mystique, we will be profiling an array of individuals and couples about their last name decisions upon marriage or what they expect to choose if they marry. The goal is to explore how individuals make decisions about their last name, and to highlight the many possibilities. We will be posting profiles periodically and encourage you to stay connected via Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.  If you would like to participate in this series, email Danielle at danielle [at] fromtwotoone [dot] com or Shannon at hill [dot] shannonp [at] gmail [dot] com.   

The following post is from Bethany, a straight, liberal, agnostic librarian who gets surprisingly irked when dual last names aren't alphabetized properly (but rarely shushes people).

I got married a year and a half ago.  I knew for many years that I wouldn’t want to marry someone who demanded that I change my name, and I had thought that meant that I wouldn’t change my name.  My husband left the choice entirely up to me, and I surprised myself by taking his last name when we applied for the marriage license.

I like the name I was raised with.  It’s a huge part of how I see myself.  Long before we got married, my husband and I talked about our names.  He wasn’t comfortable changing his surname (can’t blame him--neither was I), and neither of us like the hyphenation game.  I suggested that we both change our names a little bit.  We could both have my last name as a middle name, and his last name as our family name.  We could drop our given middle names.  Both of our families would be represented in both of our names, which has a wonderful air of fair and equal partnership.  For a while, it was a mutually agreeable option.

Here’s what I learned afterchoosing his last name on the marriage license application: it’s easy to change your last name when you get married.  Your middle name, however, isn’t always up for discussion.  In my state, you have to go through the probate courts if you want to legally remove and change any other part of your name for any reason.  That means filing papers, paying legal fees, publicly announcing the name change, waiting for objections, appearing in court, and finally walking away with a spiffy new name.

I’m not lazy, and I’m not flaky.  But I am pragmatic.  The prospect of changing both our middle names was more hassle than the symbolism was worth to us.  My husband kept his name unchanged.  I opted to include my first, middle, maiden, and unhyphenated married name on my new Social Security card, which somehow wasn’t a problem.  My driver’s license, bank accounts, will, and W2’s show the three names I really want.  I use all three professionally and socially.  I’m alphabetized by my married name, which conveniently bumps me many letters up the alphabet.  Sometimes I capriciously use only my married name, which is much shorter to spell over the phone.

Someday, when we have children, our whole family will have the same last name.  Neither my husband nor I will have an oddball last name that doesn’t match everyone else’s.  We won’t need to consider giving our children different last names to represent both of us.  We’re strongly considering giving any/all of them my maiden name as a sole middle name.  If we do, we will have come full circle to our original plan.  What our children do with that name is up to them--just like it was up to us when we got married.

Mother's Day Gift Guide

Mother's Day is Sunday, May 13th--about two weeks away! Here are 10 gifts she'll love...
A bouquet of peonies, above, since they're pretty much every woman's favorite flower. $93.
A mug to make her laugh, $14.
Brunch cooking class in Brooklyn, celebrated on Mother's Day. $125/person.
Plant topper, to fill her bedroom with light and rainbows, $140.
Morse code bracelet that spells out "mom," $40.
Fondue pot filled with chocolate, $20, plus a basket of strawberries. Made in Paris, naturellement.
Your favorite childhood photo sent to her in a silver frame, $28, to remind her that you'll always be her baby. (Get 10% off any Pinhole Press order with the code CUPOFJO.) P.S. That's my mom, my twin sister and me above:)
Friendship earrings--one for you and one for her. $55.
Field of Grass soy candle, to transport her to freshly cut grass in the countryside, among daisies, beneath the sun. $20.
An astrology reading, because how fun is that?! And lunch afterward to talk about it all.

P.S. More great gifts for women...

I Feel Pretty

Or, at least, my blog does! I am so in love with the little makeover The Feminist Mystique received, courtesy of the amazing Amanda over at Apple Blue. Thanks Amanda!

How To: Make Homemade Tortillas

Lately, I have become obsessed with making homemade tortillas. Or really, I've become obsessed with eating homemade tortillas. There is such a difference between homemade tortillas and the store-bought ones. Besides, have you ever looked at the ingredients on a package of store-bought tortillas? They are full of chemicals. Yuck!

Over the past few months, I've experimented with a few recipes. These are by far my favorite. They're the perfect combination of crispiness and doughiness. And they're vegan (they use coconut oil instead of milk or any sort of lard). We use them to make black bean quesadillas or breakfast burritos. I also love them slathered in butter or honey.

Homemade Flour Tortillas

Recipe at Fresh Ideas Mama 

P.S. I was really intimidated the first time I set out to make tortillas, but they're actually really easy and quick. And there are only 5 ingredients. So don't be afraid!

Wednesday giveaway!

Today's giveaway is from Pyrrha, a handcrafted jewelry collection based in Vancouver. Worn by celebrities like Katie Holmes and Reese Witherspoon, the personal talisman necklaces symbolize what you are and what you believe in. For example, the anchor above symbolizes hope and optimism, and the bee stands for creativity. (My favorite might be this mother bear, which symbolizes strength, ferocity and the protection of one's children.) How incredible and empowering to wear one everyday.

One lucky winner will get to choose her favorite piece from the shop (up to $200). Which would you choose? See them all here.

For a chance to win, please visit Pyrrha's online shop, and leave a comment below with your favorite piece. A winner will be chosen at random tomorrow. Good luck! xoxo Update: Aubrey B. is our lucky winner. Thanks for playing. xo

Fridge Makeover: Photo magnets

Our apartment has a plain old white fridge. So, to jazz it up a bit, I made some Pinhole Press photo magnets. Our gallery display makes our whole kitchen feel so much cozier, and Toby loves pointing himself out. For Mother's Day, I'm going to send my mom a package of family magnets:)

What's on your fridge?

The Best Peanut Butter Cookies You'll Ever Have

Peanut butter cookies with a glass of milk. Can't you conjure up exactly what it tastes like? One of life's great pleasures. Here, Jennifer from Bake or Break shares her recipe for the most mouthwatering version ever (which would be perfect to take to a dinner party!)...
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Catholic and Feminist

Today, I was over at Balancing Jane writing about being both a feminist and Catholic. Here's a little excerpt: 

I grew up enamored with the Church. Stories of saints and the Virgin Mary peppered my childhood. I admired them. Women like Saint Catherine of Siena seemed smart, sure of themselves, powerful, and even rebellious. Indeed, they seemed much smarter and powerful, and more dynamic and interesting than any Disney princess.

Read the full post here! 

Summer Essential #2: FANTASTIC natural sunscreen

After literally years of searching, I've finally found the best sunscreen. And here's why:

1. Regular sunscreen can be dangerous. Three years ago, before our honeymoon, my friend Jessa Blades, a natural beauty consultant and makeup artist, warned me that regular sunscreen often contains dangerous chemicals and harmful toxins that may actually cause cancer. (This article, most recently, made my knees wobble!) Ever since then, Alex and I have worn natural mineral sunscreen, which feel so important, especially since you slather it all over your body (and your children's bodies) everyday.

2. But natural sunscreens look bad. Yes, here's the catch: Natural sunscreens don't really absorb into your skin. You end up covered in sticky lotion, looking white as a ghost; and sunscreen can have flaky residue, which is, needless to say...not attractive. I secretly hate using it, but know it's worth it.

3. And here's the solution! I had almost given up on finding a natural sunscreen that doesn't look terrible, but now I'm thrilled to say I've finally found one!! Josie Maran's Daily Sun Protection is both natural and absorbs beautifully. The lightweight sunscreen also contains argan oil, which makes you look young and glow-y. Alex and Toby will be wearing it this summer, too. I highly, highly, highly recommend it. Find it here.
Here's to a happy, healthy summer! (More summer essentials to come...)

(Top photo by Garance Dore)

Summer Essential #1: Water bottle

I'm excited to announce a new series on Cup of Jo: Summer Essentials, where I'll be sharing some awesome things (beach towels, swimsuits, peach lipstick) that you might like this summer. Hope you enjoy it!

First up: Water bottles. BKR bottles, made in San Francisco, are bright and modern. The bottles are glass but have a silicone sleeve, so they won't break; and water tastes so good from a glass bottle, versus plastic or stainless-steel (which can cause that metallic flavor). At $28, it's not cheap, but will end up being less expensive--and better for the planet--than buying one-use bottles of water all summer. Plus, they're so beautiful to carrry around; I have the red one!

Thoughts? Do you have a water bottle?

P.S. Alex actually wrote this article back in 2007.

(Via Momfilter)

[M] The Last Name Project

In this new series co-hosted by from two to one and The Feminist Mystique, we will be profiling an array of individuals and couples about their last name decisions upon marriage or what they expect to choose if they marry. The goal is to explore how individuals make decisions about their last name, and to highlight the many possibilities. We will be posting profiles periodically and encourage you to stay connected via Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.  If you would like to participate in this series, email Danielle at danielle [at] fromtwotoone [dot] com or Shannon at hill [dot] shannonp [at] gmail [dot] com.  

The following post is from M, who teaches at a medium sized university in the Midwest but spent the last three months in Kenya conducting research. 

The decision to change our last names originated with my (male) partner, who proffered the crazy idea to make up a new name.  This suggestion proceeded from a conversation with his former partner about whether he was willing to change his name if they married. 

At first I regarded this scheme with dismay; I had always planned to keep my last name, and this proposition sounded slightly off-center. But the idea of an equally shared sacrifice—and changing your name is essentially a sacrifice, of time, effort, and parts of your identity— seemed like a good way to commemorate our legal union.

We have a common ethnic background, so we decided to pick a name from the Irish language.  Then we started talking about meaning; as academics in the humanities, we focus on words, and translation can be capricious.  He describes the process happening with a bottle of wine and a Gaelic Irish dictionary, and that is almost accurate.  We eventually found a name that alluded to both of our unmarried surnames and to our journeys toward each other, including the collective journey of our immigrant forebears; it means seaborne.

Once we had selected a name, we explained our choice to our parents.  A’s mother responded by spluttering “you cannot do that,” essentially protesting her own lack of choice in an earlier time, and my father pronounced us “foolish and irresponsible,” but we ignored their whimpers of tradition.  To allay possible confusion, our wedding program contained a paragraph explaining the choice to choose a new name and the name itself.

Others’ confusion about our choice never really surfaced, but legal difficulties did.  Legally changing your name (unless you are a woman taking a husband’s name upon marriage) proved more difficult than we imagined.  Instead of writing the new name on the marriage certificate as brides could if taking a man’s surname, we were forced to use the court system. First one petitions the court, then makes a public announcement of the change by purchasing an advertisement in a local newspaper, which publishes nothing else, then swears in front of a judge that the name change is not an attempt to escape outstanding debt.  The judge in our case made me repeat myself because I was not loud enough the first time.   Even A was schooled not to lean on the judges’ desk during that short interaction.

One unexpected way this choice has been beneficial is my communications with students.  Since my partner and I work in the same academic department, students often know we are a couple because we share the name.  I usually find a way to reveal the name’s origins with my classes at some point, if only to protest their (unspoken) assumption that I took my husband’s name.  The young people then have at least one example of a non-sexist, egalitarian way to address the name change question when they arrive at their own decision.

Museum touch tours

Did you know that many museums--including the Met, MoMA and Whitney--will allow blind or partially sighted people to come on private tours so they can touch and experience the artwork? How amazing. Photographer Matt Ducklo took photos of these "touch tours." I find them so moving.
(Via Rion)

[Cindy] The Last Name Project

In this new series co-hosted by from two to one and The Feminist Mystique, we will be profiling an array of individuals and couples about their last name decisions upon marriage or what they expect to choose if they marry. The goal is to explore how individuals make decisions about their last name, and to highlight the many possibilities. We will be posting profiles periodically and encourage you to stay connected via Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.  If you would like to participate in this series, email Danielle at danielle [at] fromtwotoone [dot] com or Shannon at hill [dot] shannonp [at] gmail [dot] com.  

The following post is from Cindy, a health economist who lives in Toronto with her wife and daughter. 

I grew up in a family where all the women changed their names at marriage (for some this meant changing it multiple times). My mother changed her name when she married my father and changed it back when they divorced. In my early 20s, I dated someone who was very traditional, and who repeatedly commented about how his stepmother was not a true [insert his last name] because she had not changed her name to his father’s at marriage.  I thought that was a bit harsh, but also wasn’t yet sure whether I would change my own name at marriage and I certainly wasn’t sure that I wanted to draw a line in the sand over the issue.  Later, as I read more feminist literature, I thought about how a person’s name is attached to her identity and about the inequity of women commonly going through the many bureaucratic, social, and professional steps it takes to re-establish an identity upon marrying while men almost never did.  

In my late 20s, I completed my PhD and had by then observed several of my female classmates going through the process of re-establishing their identities after publishing in their own names and then beginning to publish and speak in their married names.  Friends who worked at large companies would talk about mass emails they received at work announcing a name change for a female colleague; it seemed particularly unfair that women who changed their names in some ways waived their right to privacy with that decision, as they were made to announce both good and bad personal news such as marriages and divorces that they might otherwise like to keep private.

Several college friends changed their names at marriage during this time in my life. Some changed their names because of a love of tradition.  Others changed their names because (like me) they were not close to their father or because (like me) they wanted to have the same name as future children; during this time not even one male friend changed his name at marriage because of these reasons despite many, if not all, of my male friends falling into one of these two categories.  Some friends who came from – or married into – traditional families changed their names due to not wanting to explain or justify their decision hundreds of times over.  I found myself at times especially frustrated by these friends, whose decision not to fight the battle in their own lives only reinforced the status quo, thereby making it that much more difficult for other women to choose not to change their names.  I saw this battle personified in friends who did not change their names and then spent their supply of patience trying to get their own friends/families/in-laws to acknowledge that they had NOT changed their names as the mail poured in to Mr. and Mrs. His Name.

My partners since the one in my early 20s have been strong feminists. By the time I married, there was no discussion to have: I would not change my name.  I also felt strongly that I wouldn’t want the person I married to change their name.  Because I ended up marrying a woman, our decision to keep our names raised fewer eyebrows and demanded less explanation than I believe would have been the case if I had married a man; there was no historical precedent for us to follow or reject. The discussions we did have were about how to incorporate each of our names into our children’s names.  Our first child has my last name as a middle name and my wife’s last name as her last name; our second child will have the reverse.  Our names are a part of who we are and now they are a part of who our children are. Happily, no one had to re-establish an identity to achieve this.

Motherhood Mondays: Summer kids clothes

Crewcuts summer clothes are totally adorable. These little prints are giving me baby fever, and we ended up ordering this car tee for Toby's birthday. Take a look at the full collection here, if you'd like.

P.S. Don't you wish the clothes came in grown-up sizes? Especially that colorblock dress:)

(Graphic design by Rachel for Cup of Jo; thanks to Crewcuts for being one of my April sponsors)

Lemonade-stand season

A few years ago, for New York Magazine, I interviewed kids about having lemonade stands in New York City. They were so hilarious and crafty! Their tricks to increase sales included purposefully misspelling "lemonade" on their signs and telling people's fortunes. One brother-sister team made $240! Read the story here, if you'd like.
And these photos by photographer Joanna Ebenstein made me laugh. She passed two boys in Park Slope, Brooklyn, selling bacon panini, of all things! And at $3 a pop. Haha, only in NYC.

Monday Motivation

 



  

                                                                                   Source: simplemom.net via Shannon on Pinterest

I love this quote. It inspires me to live simply. And in case you need a little simple living inspiration of your own, my friend Kim over at The Gracious Gaze is going to host a spring cleaning party on her blog. I'm looking forward to following along, getting rid of some stuff, and getting my spring and summer brights back in my closet. Here's to a simple closet!

Weekend Links

New research from the Pew Research Center shows that young women now surpass young men in saying that achieving success in a high-paying career is important. But despite this focus on their career, for both women and men being a good parent and partner is more important than career success. Women and men are more likely to place parenting at the top of their priorities than they were in 1997. Read the full report here.

Despite some hand-wringing from conservatives over the fact that women care about their careers, Jill from Feministe has a great post in The Guardian about how this shift is actually good for families.

I'm a sex positive feminist, and an advocate for sex workers' rights. But Audacia Ray, a sex positive feminist and former sex worker herself, has an excellent essay on why sex positive feminists unintentionally create barriers for the achievement of sex workers’ rights. A must read!

Jill from Feministe also has a great post on the controversy over Hilary Rosen's comments.  She writes:

“Motherhood is the most important job in the world” is basically a rhetorical trick to romanticize motherhood so that we don’t have to see it as real work. We put motherhood on a pedestal so that we don’t actually have to discuss the reality of it.

and

Free female labor props up our economy and saves us all tax money. I’m not just talking about stay-at-home moms; I’m also talking about the labor that working moms do when they leave their paid job at the end of the day.

Shannon from The Radical Housewife writes one of my favorite responses to the recent "Mommy Wars" by reminding us that they're class wars and arguing that capitalism depends on women's unpaid work.

                                                                                 Source: modernkiddo.com via Shannon on Pinterest

Have a great weekend.

What are you doing this weekend? As I mentioned earlier, we're taking a quick trip to Amsterdam! The weather reports predict rain every single day (that's why it's off season:), but Alex got us rain pants, and I'm bringing these rain boots, so hopefully we'll be able to stay dry with the Dutch. Have a wonderful weekend, and here are a few great posts from around the web...

Good news! If you want to watch the new show Girls, but don't have HBO, you can see the full episode on Youtube.

Cheese paintings.

Paris in color.

Thoughtful response to the controversial Vogue article about the mom who put her seven-year-old daughter on a diet.

Avocado + egg = breakfast pizza.

This tote made me laugh.

What a beautiful room.

Would you wear a pink wedding dress? Or blue?

Have you seen the British documentary series Up? The next one is coming out...

Orange ginger fizz would hit the spot.

Stalagmites, stalactites.

1950s pin-up girls: before and after.

Did you read this book when you were little?

Hope to see you at this bike show next weekend! xo

Crazy news: We're going to Amsterdam!

So, I have some crazy news: We're taking a (very) spontaneous quick trip to Amsterdam! Leaving tomorrow!! Here's the story: We were planning to take Toby to Europe this summer, but we priced out the flights, and it was prohibitively expensive. (Summer flights to most major European cities started at $1400; and we'd need to buy three.) We figured our Europe dreams were dashed, until we realized that if we squeezed a trip in April, the flights were much less expensive—and the overall trip would be doable if we stayed for just a handful of days.

So! We decided to plan a less expensive family vacation this summer in the midwest, but to scratch our Europe itch, Alex and I are taking a quick trip to Amsterdam this weekend! We're going for just four days, while Toby stays home with his beloved babysitters (since a weekend trip to Europe—with long flights + jetlag—would be no fun for a two-year-old). I'm so excited to visit Amsterdam: I've always wanted to see the cool houseboats and even cooler bikers. Also, one of my best friends from college—Penny—is living there right now, and we can't wait to see her.

This is all so exciting and heady—I'm the least spontaneous person ever, so it's funny/thrilling to be heading to a big city without any planning. If you have any Amsterdam tips, we'd LOVE to hear them! Have you ever been?

Weekend round-up coming up, and sending you a big kiss! Eeks!
P.S. I've written a bunch of posts for next week that I hope you enjoy.
(We'll miss this little dude)

[Stephanie] The Last Name Project

In this new series co-hosted by from two to one and The Feminist Mystique, we will be profiling an array of individuals and couples about their last name decisions upon marriage or what they expect to choose if they marry. The goal is to explore how individuals make decisions about their last name, and to highlight the many possibilities. We will be posting profiles periodically and encourage you to stay connected via Facebook, Twitter, and Pinterest.  If you would like to participate in this series, email Danielle at danielle [at] fromtwotoone [dot] com or Shannon at hill [dot] shannonp [at] gmail [dot] com. 

The following post is from Stephanie, who is getting married April 27, 2013. 

As my partner and I started to talk more seriously about getting engaged and, more specifically, when to get engaged, I knew I had to make a decision about the whole last name thing.

I am definitely a feminist, and I knew deep down that I really didn’t want to change my last name. There’s lots of reasons - it’s mine, I have a Bachelor’s and a Master’s degree in that name, my career has started with that name, I view it as a connection to my paternal grandmother (I never knew my grandfather), etc. My partner was understanding and although perhaps a little disappointed, not really surprised either. But I had this nagging feeling that I should just change it and move on.

Why?

Like it or not, names denote families in the US. And knowing that we want to have kids and that those kids will need a last name is really where my hang-up was. Do we hyphenate? Do we give one his last name and one my last name? Do we give them both just one of our names? I don’t like any of those options. And while my partner and I discussed him taking my name or creating a new one, neither of those options - along with me changing my last name - felt right for us. So we have two last names, and have to figure out what to do about our kids.

I agonized about this. Hyphenating seems to make sense, but I kept thinking “what if they want to marry someone with a hyphenated last name when they get older?! Then they’d have four names to deal with!” This kind of thinking can go on and on and on. Finally, I realized something: too bad. I am not going to feel guilty about not changing my name, and I trust my kids will be smart enough to figure it out. And I know I made the right decision.   

Thursday giveaway!

Today's giveaway is from Meg Moorhouse of Love & Victory, a beautiful jewelry and design studio based in Brooklyn. She's offering one lucky reader a baby name ring, which is hand-engraved with your favorite child's name and birthday. How sweet is that? It would make a perfect gift for Mother's Day, or just because.

For a chance to win, please visit Love & Victory and leave a comment below. A winner will be chosen at random tomorrow. Good luck! (P.S. I also love her silhouette necklaces.) Update: Margaret S. is our lucky winner, thanks for playing. xo

9 simple wedding rings

Last fall, I wrote a post simple wedding rings, and since then, I've come across a few more that have taken my breath away. Here are 9 beautiful rings that are pretty enough to wear on their own...

1. Braided ring, $348.
2. Black oval ring, $250.
3. Blade of grass ring, $495.
4. Black diamond ring, $710.
5. Heart ring, $200.
6. Infinity hug ring, $193.
7. Diamond band, $520.
8. Speckled band, $330.
9. Bateau ring, $980.

Thoughts? What's your wedding ring like? Mine's a thin gold band. xoxo

P.S. 6 more wedding rings.

(Graphic design by Jennifer Hagler for Cup of Jo)

Will you cry at your wedding? (Did you?)

Before we got married, Alex told me something that made my jaw drop...

One evening, we were chatting about whether we thought we'd cry during our wedding ceremony, and Alex admitted that he hadn't cried since he was ten years old. "Guys are taught to hold in tears," he explained. "As a little kid, you don't want to be labeled a cry baby by your friends. I quickly learned to be stoic." And that lesson stuck: He hasn't shed a single tear since then, even when his father died.

I couldn't believe it. (I would be embarrassed to know how many times I've cried since I was ten.)

So, when our wedding day arrived, I wasn't surprised that Alex stayed lovely and strong through his wedding vows, and I broke down while saying mine. It was such an intense and moving moment, and I couldn't make it through the words without my voice cracking. (In fact, every makeup artist I know says their #1 beauty tip for brides is to wear waterproof mascara!)
More weepy brides...
Weepy grooms...
And don't forget the dads! :)
What about you? Who is more likely to cry at your wedding: you or your partner? Or do you think you'll both be equally dry-eyed or weepy? If you're already married, how did it go down? I'm so curious!

P.S. 10 funny wedding moments.

(Photos by Max Wanger (including ours), Dixie Pixel, Kelly Benvenuto, Jessie Holland, Lynn Michelle; Brandon Kidd and Ventola Photography, via Green Wedding Shoes, Belle Rempert via Ruffled; and James Moes, and photos, cropped, by Audrey Hannah and Sarah Maren, via Ruffled)